


The Little Blue Box.

by cameforthecomedy



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Doctor Who Feels, Weakness, apology, im so sorry for doing this to our babies but angst is what their relationship is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cameforthecomedy/pseuds/cameforthecomedy
Summary: He always ends up here. No matter what he does, his mind leads him back to here. It was no coincidence that he just happened to find it, right here, right now. The box. The little blue box that lingers in his thoughts.(set after the events of spyfall)
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	The Little Blue Box.

He always ends up here. No matter what he does, his mind leads him back to here. It was no coincidence that he just happened to find it, right here, right now. The box. The little blue box that lingers in his thoughts. He looked around him, a scuffle noise coming from further out. However, he knew he was alone.  
He looked straight ahead at the familiar object. It couldn't harm him to inspect a bit closer, right?  
He took a step forward.  
The last few years had been rough for him. Alone, trapped, petrified, whatever you’d class it as. All he knew was escaping that hellhole took him a while.  
He’d also come to a realisation whilst there. He was no longer angry at the Doctor. He’d just come to hate himself more. Hate himself, for ruining the friendship they had a while ago. In his little disguise. In the last regeneration. Hell, if he was still Missy he’d waltz in there right now, look her dead in the eyes, and say some form of sassy remark.  
But not anymore. He wasn't like that now; he was weaker. He hated to admit it, but he was weaker than ever before.  
Another step.  
He thought of the last time he was this close to the TARDIS. Her TARDIS. He’d even stepped inside. He felt the warm glow of the artron energy touch his mind, start to sense him. He begged it, ‘don't recognise me, please don't.’ and it just about listened.  
Another step.  
Could this be the doctor he knew? Or would he be interfering with an alternate timeline? Creating something that was never supposed to happen? There’d be no way of finding out, however he had interacted with the last few regenerations that had been running around. He just about slipped by them all. It had been a long 70 years of waiting.  
Another step.  
He could now feel the presence of the TARDIS around him. Engulfing him. The familiar feeling that… that feels like home. He was now face to face with the entrance.  
He placed his hand against the door, expecting some form of reaction. Nothing happened. However, he knew what he had to do.  
He kept his clutch on the door, forcing his mind to take him back, take him to her.  
‘Contact.’  
No reply.  
He tried harder, this time whispering under his breath to the TARDIS, hoping it will help him in some way.  
‘Contact.’  
He let go of a breath, and thought there was no hope in trying.  
‘Contact.’  
A reply. Holy shit, a reply.  
‘I’m outside. Let me in.’  
‘What are you doing outside?’  
‘No time to explain, Let me in.’  
No reply was given.  
The suspense almost killed him. He wanted to walk away, leave it all; there was no chance she’d let him in.  
His thoughts clogged his mind all at once. What if she didn't want to see him? What if he’s ruined everything? He didn't mean to ruin her, or their friendship, but it just happened, and he doesn’t want it to happen again. What if she won’t answer? What if she answers and starts shouting at me? I didn't want to start a riot, any form of argument… oh god i’m such a shitty person, I bet she hates me, I bet she doesn’t want to see me ever again. If I was her I wouldn’t either. Oh god… oh fuck….  
A soft click pulled him out of his thoughts.  
“Doctor…”  
He fell into her arms, clutching her with all his might.  
She didn't hesitate to catch him.  
“What’s happened to you then?”  
He couldn’t bring himself to reply. If anything, he could only do one thing in that moment.  
Soft whimpers escaped his mouth, as he slightly shook. She grabbed onto him tighter, unsure of what to say, or do. He re-established the contact from earlier.  
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…’ These were the only words he could form.  
‘Sorry for what?’  
He couldn’t force himself to respond, only start to dig his nails into her arms.  
‘Talk to me.’  
She brushed her fingers across his cheek and tilted his head upwards, confused at the streaks down his face. He couldn’t look at her. Not like this.  
‘Tell me, what’s wrong.’  
‘I’m sorry.’  
‘No, stop saying that, what are you sorry for?’  
He stopped for a moment, and made eye contact with her. She seemed to genuinely look… worried? For him? He took a deep breath and forced himself to say the next part out loud.  
“Everything. I’m sorry for everything.”  
He loosened his grip on her arms, attempting to stand up. He knew this was the wrong decision, coming back here, to the TARDIS, to this life, to her. She didn't want his presence anymore. He could feel it.  
“Wait, please.” She also stood up, grabbing onto his shoulders. He looked towards the door, hoping to run from it, hoping to break free of this situation. This feeling, almost alien to him. “Stay. Please.”  
“No, I’ve said enough.”  
“Nonono please, hold on-”  
“I fucked up, doctor.” He turned to face her. “I fucked up. I fucked up my life, I fucked up Gallifrey’s life, I fucked up your companions lives, and I fucked up yours. I fucked up your life, doctor, so don’t let me redeem myself. Hell, I bet you don't even want me here, nevermind near you!”  
He paused for a second, realising what he’d done. He was now face to face with the doctor, screaming at her. This is exactly the reason why she hates him.  
“I’ll show myself out.”  
He turned back towards the door, walking out as quick as he could. The doctor followed, running after him.  
“Koschei… Please.”  
He looked at her for the last time.  
“I’m sorry, Theta. I’m so fucking sorry.”  
She wanted to run after him. She wanted to hold him tight again in her arms, to tell him that it's okay, it's all going to be okay, that she forgave him, that…  
Yet it would be too much.  
She nodded back at him. “I know.”  
He turned away, wiping the fluid on his cheek. He wanted to turn back. He wanted her to hold him tight, tell him it would all be okay, that she forgave him. Yet it would be too much.  
The Doctor reached out her arm, as if to call him back, yet nothing could escape her mouth. Nothing but shaky whimpers.  
As her eyesight began to differ, she shut the TARDIS door with a click, and then fell against it.  
It would be a rough few hours.

**Author's Note:**

> bro this is heavy angst and i apologise for it 100%, but its been in my head and they deserve to pine over eachother. if you've gotten this far, then thanks. try not to cry. (also love yall op/kb gc <3)


End file.
